The New Pope

Just learned that Pope Benedict XVI is stepping aside to open a Happy Days-themed wax museum in Wisconsin.

Now, the Catholic Church needs a replacement.

I have an idea.

No Pope. Like, none, zero, zip. Here’s an idea, instead: How about Catholics read the Bible and come up with their own takes and opinions? If you think the Bible damns gays to hell, damn gays to hell. If you think the Bible damns gays to hell, but you find portions of the Bible to be flawed, don’t damn gays to hell. If you think touching a pig’s skin is immoral, don’t do it. If you think pre-maritial sex is OK, have it. If you don’t—don’t.

I’ve never understood the Pope. I mean, I understand he’s the head of the Catholic Church and, therefore, the closest human to Jesus Christ, blah, blah, blah. What I don’t get, though, is millions of people actually listening to him. I mean, this guy—Benedict XVI—was ridiculous. Unbending, confused, strict. Under his watch, the Catholic Church embarrassingly handled the most horrible episode in its history (the molestation of many). He was a joke. A fool. Sad and pathetic.

And yet—what do we expect? Come day’s end, he’s just a guy. A really, really sheltered guy. He’s 85 and as out of touch as any 85-year old. I can’t imagine taking his advice on what movie to see, never mind how I can live a moral and fruitful life.

Oh, one other thing. Stop talking about the afterlife. It’s ludicrous. Even if there is an afterlife (there isn’t), to use it as a dangling carrot seems to defeat the whole purpose. Aren’t we supposed to be decent because decency is righteous?


6 thoughts on “The New Pope”

  1. Agree with all points except the afterlife mention. You don’t really know if there isn’t an afterlife. I don’t. Neither does the Pope and anyone else. An agnostic viewpoint is more reasoned, if uncertain and slightly unsettling.

  2. “Oh, one other thing. Stop talking about the afterlife. It’s ludicrous. Even if there is an afterlife (there isn’t), to use it as a dangling carrot seems to defeat the whole purpose.”

    We get it. Religion is for idiots, especially the religions deemed safe to slam without being pegged as a bigot.

    If Atheists want more people to share their views, they need to shut up. The best argument for Atheism is pedophilia in the Church, or jets crashing into office towers. Belittling people’s concept of the afterlife just makes you seem like a tool.

    1. Seriously. Whether there is or isn’t an afterlife isn’t something you can POSSIBLY know. I like Jeff, but frankly, I find his “the afterlife is non-existent and if you think it’s there you’re an idiot” take to be off-putting. I recently lost my grandmother, and if there wasn’t the possibility, however remote, that I will see her again, I’d probably lose it.

  3. Jeff, there are around a billion and a half Catholics in the world. To a great many of them the Pope is a meaningful person in their lives. Show a little respect.

    Personally, I hope the Cardinals elect someone who acknowledges that it is the 21st century, is a person of color, and comes from a continent other than Europe. I expect none of this to happen.

  4. Why do jews wear yarmulkes? Why do Muslims face east when they pray? Why is your own birthday the most important day in the Satanic calender? The answer to all of these questions, including what your post is based on is Faith. Tradition.
    End of story.
    I am starting to find your anti-Christian posts quite biggoted.

  5. Think of how happy you’d be if 2.1 billion more people lived lives that were a roller coaster ride of high peaks and dark valleys like yours! That would solve your problems! Kind of like tearing down everything good about this counrty because some people for one reason or another don’t take advantage of the positives. This is on par with your attack on cheerleaders, cheerleaders and catholics = safe to rip. Football team and islam = better not go there. You know who pisses me off? Downs syndrome kids, what the hell are they so happy about? Should have been aborted, right Jeff?

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