Sydney Screams

IMG_2519The Quaz is a beautiful thing in my life, because it’s introduced me to a wide range of people who occupy spots in society I’d otherwise never explore. Once, there was a KKK leader. Another time, the world memory champion. From pinball wizards to child actors to lead guitarists, I’m all about tracking down folks whose worlds fascinate me.

Enter: Sydney Screams.

Sydney is a full-figured fantasy and fetish professional. I was directed her way by the lovely Jenny DeMilo, my good pal and Quaz No. 33. And when Jenny suggests someone, it’s usually with good reason. Sydney is a college-educated, business-savvy young woman who makes a good chunk of change embracing her sexuality—and sharing it with others. On the Internet, she’s everywhere—including here, here, here, here and here.

Oh, and right friggin’ here.

Sydney Screams—scream with joy. You’re Quaz No. 151 …

JEFF PEARLMAN: OK, Sydney, so I’ll start with an obvious one: You are a self-described “full-figured fantasy and fetish” professional. What, exactly, does this mean? What do you actually do?

SYDNEY SCREAMS: Essentially, it means I’m a plus sized professional model or performer. In the kink and porn world, I’m referred to as a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman). I fulfill various fantasies and fetishes via short video clips, photo sets, webcam shows, and face-to-face sessions. That’s the side that everyone sees of me, so people tend to think that the job ends there. I occasionally wish that was the extent of my job, but in actuality I’m running my own business that centers on a brand I’ve created for myself. I book outside work with “small” producers, photographers, and larger production companies, but I also shoot my own content (photos and videos). Shooting my own content entails a lot of work, which ranges from hiring other models, being my own script writer, camera person, lighting person, makeup artist, hair stylist, and editor, all on top of being in said videos and photos. The fantasies and fetishes I fulfill on camera range from traditional hardcore and softcore porn, to some “tame” fetishes such as foot fetish, feeding, balloons and tickling, to more extreme fetishes such as ballbusting, bondage, smothering and spankings. Even though many of the fetish fantasies that I fulfill are “mainstream” in the fetish porn community, the fact that I’m a plus size lady means that I’m catering to an even smaller niche. DSC_0949J.P.: I’m beyond riveted by your life path. Womb to website, how did you get here? What was your path? How did you get into the business? Etc …

S.S.: It has been one hell of a journey! When I was a child (we’re talking elementary school age at this point), my best friend and I would play dress up in my bedroom while our parents would have dinner parties together. The thing is, we didn’t play house or cops and robbers or anything along those lines … we played what I’d later call “courtesans.” My mom bought me these horrific 80s prom dresses from thrift stores to me to play dress up in, and my friend and I would pretend we were the supreme rulers of the world and that we’d have all the men in the world trapped. We would only let them out of their cages and chains for our own amusement and pleasure. I don’t know how her and I got the idea for that, but looking back, I’m pretty sure our parents may have wanted to pay closer attention to our games. Both her and I have parents who are pretty traditional on their views on sex and sexuality in general.

As I grew up, I was a curious kid. I experimented with boys and girls pretty early on in my teen years, and not just out right sexual activities, but things that I now know of as “kinky.” When I hit 18, I spent a semester abroad in college, and upon my return I was asked to photograph some girls for a friend of mine. He was starting up a nudie pin-up girl website, and wanted someone who knew what they were doing with a camera. The first photo shoot I did for him, I was strictly behind the camera, but the girls I met had some interesting stories regarding their money making. One girl was a professional Dominatrix; another girl did foot fetish videos. A few months later, I was doing a second shoot for his site and one of the model’s escorts was a foot fetish producer. I let him take pictures of my feet, thinking it was really fun and “why would anyone want to see my feet?!” About a year later, I got brave and got in front of the camera as a nude model for the first time, and it was exhilarating. It was just pin-up style photography, but I literally spent an afternoon running around naked. I started asking photographers and producers I was hired by how they were making their money, and I learned about the very popular fetish clip site, clips4sale. At some point, I got curious and explored. The next day, I bought a webcam and started making three-minute long videos in my bedroom at my parents’ house. I haven’t stopped making videos since, though I’ve significantly upgraded my lighting and camera, and now I shoot anywhere and wherever I can.

J.P.: When you Google around, or visit Niteflirt, you realize it’s 99% sexual services for men, and—at best—1% for women. Why do you think that is? Are men needing certain sexual stimulation women don’t require? Are we more pathetic? What?

S.S.: I think that men and women approach their sexual stimulation in very different ways. As a woman, I have never paid for sexual services, whether outright sex or to fulfill my kinky desires. I have several close friends who have hired escorts or seek out professional kinksters, but they’re all male. I have a couple theories on this.

The first one probably is a bit sexist: women don’t feel that they have to pay for things. It is extremely easy to find a willing participant for our sexual deviousness, especially with online dating and sites like Fetlife and Adult Friend Finder. Any time I use an online social networking site, my inbox is flooded with offers for a very wide variety of sexual releases (though only one in 100 are ever offers I’d actually consider accepting). Women don’t have to work very hard to get what we want. Men on the other hand … I have friends who use the exact same sites and they complain that they never get messages from women in the same range of quantity.

My second theory is that men tend to be more openly physical than women. I can tell you exactly what 90 percent of my male friends are seeking out when it comes to relationships or sex or kink. Women however… there is still a very unfortunate taboo that sexual women are less wholesome, which may make it harder to find a life partner. On numerous occasions, women have told me that they envy my openness when it comes to sexuality. I usually hear that from the women who are looking for a serious life partner to settle down with. It’s unfortunate that women feel they can’t be openly sexual if they want to find a life partner. I’m big on the idea that someone who wants to spend their whole life with me is going to end up being someone who accepts every aspect of my life, including my open sexual nature.

I would love to have female clients, but I think that there is still a taboo placed on women when it comes to enjoying sexual behavior. Popular magazines often teach how to give the best blowjob or how to spice things up to “keep him around,” but what about our pleasures?

2666bgb_Sydney_Screams_046J.P.: You describe yourself as “full-figured,” and you work in a business that, obviously, includes lots of skin and flesh and such. M-a-n-y people (and many women) in this country struggle with weight, and perceptions. You seem, at least on the surface, to embrace it? True? And how did you come to this point?

S.S.: I hate hate hate the pressures people are put under when it comes to weight and how we are each perceived. When I first told my mom that I went to a nudist resort, she was embarrassed for me. It wasn’t the idea of being surrounded by naked people, it was the idea that I didn’t have a bone in my body that I felt I should be ashamed of. My mom actually still reminds me of my words to her when I told her about going to a nudist resort: “Mom, you’re more uncomfortable in my body than I am.” That’s the thing though—this is my body, and I’d rather be happy in my skin than not. Sure, there are things I’d like to change (hello, perky tits that I can rest a plate on and a more round ass …), but those aren’t things that I particularly care enough about to rush out and get changed with surgery.

I truthfully cannot pinpoint ever having serious body issues outside of normal struggles with being the first girl in school with boobs and hitting puberty. Despite my mom’s body issues that were projected onto me, I think my parents raised me in such a way that I’d have confidence in myself. I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup or perfume except for Halloween or super special occasions, and even now I rarely ever wear makeup. My parents didn’t force me to conform to a lot of the ideals that I see many parents doing: If I wanted to wear boy’s clothes, I could. If I wanted to dress up like a princess, I could. I’m extremely thankful for the way they raised me in terms of addressing body issues.

J.P.: On your website you list a bunch of fetishes, including one—Bodily Functions (burping, coughing, sneezing, farting…)—that has me quite confused. Why would a guy want to hear you burp and fart? I mean, I don’t wanna hear Halle Berry fart …

S.S.: What, you don’t think Halle Berry’s farts smell like peaches?! But how will you know if you don’t try! Haha, no, this is one of the less common fetishes out there, I think. I’m not sure the origin of this fetish, but I would like to believe that it came from the idea of proper women not having bodily functions. There’s an idea of a proper woman as “unobtainable” from both the female and male perspective, and I think at some point there was a rise of the desire for a girl next door rather than a supermodel, so perhaps it came from that. I still have friends who won’t admit women poop …

DSC_1139_2aJ.P.: People are always told, “Don’t have embarrassing photos on the Internet!” You’re a young woman, and there are tons and tons of photos, videos, etc. Do you ever worry about this coming back to bite you? Your kids see it … you wanna get a job in an attorney’s office … etc …

S.S.: I’m a goofy broad, and I want the people who see me and put me up on some sort of pedestal of perfection to know that I’m anything but. I make silly faces, I fall asleep on the floor at parties, I’m a human being … life is embarrassing. I’m sure that one day being an Internet model will come back and bite me in the ass, but if my sexual desires stay the same, then I’ll probably love that bite.

I’ve known since day one that once I’m on the Internet there is no going back. Its one of the things I warn my friends about when they come to me about wanting to get “into the business.” This is as permanent as a tattoo. The thing is I’m doing something I love and that I’m passionate about. If later down the line I decide that I want to ruin a perfectly good vagina by squeezing out a kid or two, I’d rather be able to say, “Mommy spent her twenties doing something super fun that she was passionate about!” than “Mommy wished she had grabbed life by the balls instead of sitting in an office answering to someone else all day.” As for working in a “professional” or white-collar job … well. I do that too! For me, it’s just a smart life plan to have both a day job and a “fun” job. If someone didn’t want to hire me down the road because I’m naked on the Internet, then they’re missing out on an individual who has a strong work ethic, great business skills and a sane look at life. That being said, I’ve been offered work just based on who I am, which is just as shallow and awful as not getting a job based on my Internet work.

J.P.: On your website you say, “I travel nationally as both a Pro-Domme and a fetish model.” Blunt question—and I mean no offense. Does this ever entail having sex for money? And what are the lines you won’t cross?

S.S.: There are certain lines that sex workers draw for themselves in terms of what they will or will not do, and having sex with clients is one that I will not do. I will not be nude when I see a client. I don’t do give handjobs, blowjobs, footjobs. I don’t give or receive anal or oral sex with clients. I don’t have sex with clients. I’m already dancing on a very fine line between legal and illegal based on what I do in sessions, but the minute I offer those services, I can’t argue that I wasn’t escorting/prostituting.

The other big limit I have is that I will not see a client without establishing safe words. Safe words are a means of communicating personal comfort, and in many public play areas follow a traffic light pattern of “green means good, yellow means slow down, red means stop.” This allows for a level of safety and trust between my client and me.

On camera, I do shoot porn, but the theory is that it’s different (and legal). Sometimes, I’m not too sure on that fine line between porn and escorting though.

Screen Shot 2014-04-23 at 10.39.03 AMJ.P.: My mom wanted me to become a lawyer. When I became a journalist, she seemed somewhat disappointed. I’m fascinated by what your family felt about this career choice. Supportive? Angry?

S.S.: I’m truly lucky to have a very supportive family, even if they aren’t 100 percent thrilled about certain aspects of what I do. My parents are more concerned that I’m staying safe, that I am doing what I want to do, and that I am happy. For the most part, I’m a responsible adult; I finished my college degree, I’m financially independent, I’m happy. My family plays a big part of my life, and I’d be lost without their love and support.

J.P.: What are the misconceptions about sex workers? There’s a general take that women who work in your industry deserve, for lack of a better word, pity, because they’re being forced by a male-dominated society to do something against their interest. Thoughts?

S.S.: I think that there are probably a good deal of women out there who are sex workers because they feel they don’t have another option, but when someone is forced into sex work, it no longer is sex work; it’s trafficking, which is a big, big problem. Sex work can be even more empowering than most can imagine though.

Imagine having the consent to make someone your personal puppet for a period of time: you control their every move, their breath, their pleasure, their pain, and oftentimes their wallet. They give you the trust to have your way with them, mentally and physically. Trust is power if you know how to use it.

Are there people who feel that they can’t get out of sex work? Probably. Are there people who do it for the money rather than the fun? Sure, but everyone has to make a living. I can only hope that sex workers have as much fun doing what they do, as I have.

J.P.: Greatest moment of your career? Lowest?

S.S.: Every once in a while, I get a message on Tumblr, Facebook or Fetlife that says something along the lines of me being a positive kink and body image role model. I never set out to do this for anyone but myself, but the fact that I’ve inspired people to be proactive with their self-image issues is an amazing feeling. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and helping people see that is an unexpected highlight of being a big girl in the kink community.

As far as lowest, I don’t really know if I can define that. I guess the closest point was I let myself overstep boundaries I set for myself during a session really early on, and still to this day when I think about it, I feel quite a bit of regret. I was young and inexperienced, and I let someone peer pressure me into more than I was comfortable with.

Screen Shot 2014-04-23 at 10.39.25 AMQUAZ EXPRESS WITH SYDNEY SCREAMS:

• Three memories from your senior prom: I didn’t go to my senior prom. High school wasn’t the best point in my life, and despite being well known, I wasn’t close with anyone in school. I went to my best friend’s senior prom though! We danced. We drank afterwards. I met someone with a pet snake and I maybe tried to steal it.

• You say you have 36DD boobs. I’m sure, career-wise, that’s tremendous. But don’t they bug the hell out of you? Your back?: Dude. These suckers are heavy. I’ve thought about a reduction and lift several times, but I’d be out of commission for a while and I’m not sure how it would impact my career. Also, it’s hard to find good bras that are cute!

• Rank in order (favorite to least): Crosby Stills & Nash, Easter, Domo, Rob Lowe, the Go Gos, Bryce Harper, wood-roasted pizza, Cookie Monster, Reader’s Digest, long walks on the beach, Richie Cunningham, Kevin Kline: Wood-roasted pizza, cookie monster, Easter, long walks on the beach, Rob Lowe, the Go-Gos, Richie Cunningham, Crosby Stills & Nash, Kevin Kline, Bryce Harper (had to Google him, but he’s attractive), Reader’s Digest.

• Your Amazon wishlist includes something called the Sexflesh 8 Inch Lifelike Squirting Dildo. Can you make an argument, in less than 20 words, for a fake penis over a real one?: Fake penis doesn’t catch a nasty case of emotions after a great fuck, and they’re always ready to go.

• Ever thought you were about to die in a plane crash?: Thankfully, no.

• Celine Dion calls. She offers you $20 million to move to Las Vegas and work for five years as her maid. However, you have to change your name to Keith Dugin III and abstain from all sexual activity. You in?:  Nope. What would I do with $20 million, an awful name, and no good dick or pussy? Also, cleaning up after someone else … ewwwwww.

• One question you’d ask Ross Perot were he here right now?: Don’t you have better places to be than in my living room watching Game of Thrones?

• The best-kept secret for having great sex is …: Fall in love with your partner even if only for the fuck, and lose yourself in the moment. Also, do some research on how to not suck in bed … porn doesn’t count as research.

• Five sexiest movies you’ve ever seen: Secretary. Y Tu Mama Tambien. Eyes Wide Shut. Shame. Pretty Woman.

• Strangest request ever made by a customer?: I get a lot of strange requests. It takes a good strong imagination to get to me anymore, but one day, a year or two ago, I got a request for a simulated beheading. He never actually paid, so I never got to make the clip, but it would have been one hell of a theatrical performance for the sake of someone’s fetish.