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Received the above postcard a few days ago.

Being a lover of mail, I called the number. Perhaps I’m naive and dumb, but I’ve received similar mailings throughout my life, indicating a package is being held. We just moved, so there’s a lot of forwarding, holding, etc.

Dialed the number. Michelle answered. She congratulated me.

“Wow! Me? Why?”

She told me there was a welcoming parcel awaiting me.

“Wow! From the United Postal Service? How sweet!”

No. It was from a local water company. She said they’re called AquaPro. Located all over California.

“So you’re not the postal service?”

No. But we’re giving you a $30 gift card to either Red Lobster, Olive Garden or Chili’s.


And a three-day stay at Disneyland, Las Vegas … lots of different places.

“Three days!”

That’s right. And all you have to do is purch—