Danny White

I’m stuck in writing hell, and to procrastinate and waste time I somehow wound up on the personal website of Danny White, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback.

Now, White was not a bad player. He was, eh, solid. Punted when Roger Staubach was the starter, then took over as signal caller and never did quite enough bad to suck or good enough to carry Tom Landry’s club to a Super Bowl. But that doesn’t matter, because whether you’re Staubach or White or Quincy Carter or Dre Henson or Tony Romo, playing quarterback for the Cowboys means two things:

1. You score babes.

2. You’re invited to an eternity of corporate events.

Like, say, the one depicted above. Which is awesome for myriad reasons:

1. Because everyone seems bored.

2. Because, at most, 1 of 100 have heard of Danny White.

3. Because the 1 doesn’t care, even though he has heard of Danny White.

4. Because White walks out and the MC or DJ or QR thinks to himself, “This moment calls for one thing—’Crazy in Love’ by Beyonce and Jay-Z!”

5. Because Danny White has never heard ‘Crazy in Love’ by Beyonce and Jay-Z.

6. Because I’m bored and losing steam.

Back to work …