Quite often, just for kicks, I buy eye black before every Saturday’s Little League game (I’m the coach of the Red Sox—my 8-year-old son’s team) and offer the kids the chance to wear it.
I don’t believe eye black does a damn thing, and I’ve let the players know my feelings. Honestly, it’s just sorta fun and cool. And when they’re all done getting their black lines, I always put some on in a funky/weird/quirky way. In a show of unity, I suppose.
Anyhow, I wore my eye black today, during our 9-0 crushing of the Cubs (not that I keep score). But I forgot I had it on. And midway through the third inning, my wife approached me with a smile. “One of the parents,” she said, “says you look like Ace Frehley.”
The comment really caught me off guard. None of the members and ex-members of KISS are particularly attractive men, but Frehley, the legendary-yet-flawed guitarist, might have it the worst. Years of makeup seemed to take a real toll on his skin, and he has lots of loose flesh. I’m not one to dog others for their looks, but, eh, time has not been kind.
Anyhow, I thought about this and thought about this. Ace? Really? I look like Ace? Crap. Finally, I said to the wife, “Ace Frehley is a pretty ugly guy. I just don’t think I’m that ugly. Am I?”
“You’re wearing eye black and sunglasses,” she said. “He meant Ace Frehley in makeup.”