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19 Kids and F-cked Up

Josh Duggar•Ted Cruz 2016
Josh Duggar•Ted Cruz 2016

In case you missed this news (and, if you’re a sane person with normal concerns, you probably did), Josh Duggar done messed up.

Wait. Who’s Josh Duggar? Oh, right. He’s the oldest of the children who appear on the hit TLC show, “19 Kids and Counting.” If you haven’t watched, the program features Jim Bob Duggar, Michelle Duggar, Michelle Duggar’s remarkable accurate vagina, zero boxes of condoms and the 19 children the couple has damned brought into the world. Really, it’s the story of a bunch of wackadoo, uneducated, Bible-thumping Arkansas Christians who keep having unprotected sex, then screaming “Miracle!” every time someone gets pregnant. Of all the crap TV shows that air from time to time in my house, it’s easily my least favorite. Still, I seem to be in the minority. “19 Kids and Counting” kills it in the cable ratings battle.

Anyhow, the show is big. Really big. Especially among conservative Christians, who love the messages of family and Jesus and togetherness and Jesus and wacky situations involving 19 kids and Jesus. Which, predictably, works out well for a while. Until, inevitably, something, um, inconvenient pops up.

Like, well, today.

It turns out that, during his teen years, Josh Duggar allegedly molested some girls. Like, a bunch of girls. He was even turned in to Arkansas State Police by his father, but then released by an officer who later would be charged with multiple counts of sexual abuse (long story, but here’s a link). Of course, Josh went through counseling and prayer and tough times, and now he—wait for it … wait for it … wait for it—works for the Family Research Council, an pro-marriage, pro-family organization that specializes in making gay people feel like absolute dog shit. Here, this is from the website …

Screen Shot 2015-05-21 at 11.20.00 PMThe irony, as always, is beautiful—because once again you have an arch-conservative Christian group telling people that they’re unholy … while the very person screaming “Unholy!” is painfully unholy. Whenever these things pop up, the patterns are predictable to the point of boredom. Don’t you think somewhere, maybe not deep inside, Josh Duggar screams “Unholy!” because he knows where he walked? He knows what he did? He knows that, by comparison, two men or two women marrying each other isn’t nearly as harmful as molestation? So he battles against that; suppresses his own evils by noting the alleged evils of others. Which, ironically, aren’t evils at all.

Wait. There’s more! Late last year Michelle Duggar actively campaigned against an Arkansas anti-discrimination law. She even participated in a robo call, warned voters that, should the law pass, transgender men could (gasp!) wind up using the women’s bathroom. Her exact words …

Screen Shot 2015-05-21 at 11.25.58 PM

The awesomeness here is, well, awesome. Hello, this is Michelle Duggar. I want to warn you that there are transgender men out there, and we should restrict their rights because they might endanger children. Meanwhile, my pervert son walks like you, talks like you—so, um, hey. Mazel tov!

Truth is, I can deal with a guy having problems and, as an adult, finding his way. I can deal with religious nuts having 19 kids and praising Jesus. I can even handle cats eating macaroni. What I cannot accept, however, is holier-than-thou bullshit moralizing to the masses, when, truly, the one who needs moralizing is the moralizer.

To hell with “19 Kids and Counting.” I’m watching Webster.