We:re at the beavh now waiting for firewks to begin

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This is sorta quirky, but it made me laugh.

My mother, Joan Pearlman, is a wonderful woman who struggles with technology. She forwards messages best left unforwarded. She hangs up inadvertently when she’s talking on the phone. She e-mails when she means to text, and texts when she means to e-mail.

For example …

Yesterday evening I received an e-mail from my mother that read, “We:re at the beavh now waiting for firewks to begin.” Mom and I don’t live in the same state, so it took me a minute to realize she had almost certainly intended to text that sentence, not e-mail it. But … why? If she’s in Maine and I’m in California, why is it important for me to know that, “We:re at the beavh now waiting for firewks to begin”? Hmm …

I didn’t quite know what to do with this information, so I randomly texted it to three different people, just to see how they would respond. That first was Michael J. Lewis, my longtime writing pal, who reacted thusly …

Screen Shot 2015-07-05 at 11.11.18 PMThe second was Bev Oden, also a longtime writing pal and former SI colleague …

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The third, and best, involved Benny Agbayani. Yes, the Benny Agbayani who played outfield for the New York Mets in the early 2000s. I haven’t interviewed Benny Agbayani in, oh, 15 years, and I’m not even sure I’d recognize him were he to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hi, I’m Benny Agbayani.” Whatever the case, I have his number in my phone. So, just because he hit 15 home runs for the 2000 Mets, I sent him my mom’s beautiful, inspired words.

And, because Benny Agbayani is Benny Agbayani, the man responded …

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12 thoughts on “We:re at the beavh now waiting for firewks to begin”

  1. ConcernedCitizen

    The more I pour through the pages of your site the more I realize it’s not just the Russell deal that has me pissed!!! Your even a dick to your own mother, she’s just trying to keep you in her life and you publicly make her look like a fool…how pathetic you must be in real life.

      1. OMG…I guess you *pore* through all the forums looking for all the grammatical errors that someone makes while quickly posting a remark and not writing an article for a scientific publication. *You’re* in desperate need of something better to do. How many errors are in this post?…I’m sure you’ll point them out for me.

      2. Error #1: you took an entire year to respond, and you still couldn’t come up with anything less snotty and immature.

      3. I just recently revisited this after having better things to do. Snotty and immature would exactly describe your remarks! If all you can do is correct some ones grammar then you are obviously the snot nosed immature one. You obviously had no other critique to offer to my comment other than correct the grammar. I have obviously not been on a Disqus for this long or I would certainly replied to such a petty remark! If you think I sit around waiting for a response to my comments like you do says a lot about yourself, I posted and forgot about it until I got a summary of replies in my email due to a recent post of a completely different matter. Upon seeing how childish your post was I simply had to reply! Good luck with your grammatical correction career it should serve you quite well as you are very adept in your chosen field. Asshole!

      4. I believe you were projecting your presumed superiority on me with your need to correct my grammar. That’s what “I” call projection.

      5. Thank you for your diagnosis you just saved me money on a shrink. If your in the Atlanta area let me know we can meet at a Waffle House and discuss my insecurities.

      6. You’re a sad little whiner blaming other people for his problems. Please go get professional help, for the sake of everyone who’ll ever come in contact with you.

      7. And what exactly were my problems I was blaming on others? And what was the whining you speak of, I was comment on the fact that he called his mother out in a public forum making her look foolish for trying to have a relationship with him! You are one twisted piece of work, good look with yourself I don’t have the time to waste explaining myself to you or your juvenile behavior.

      8. You’re still a sad little whiner blaming other people for your problems, and you’re functionally illiterate besides. Please go get professional help in both areas.

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