Happy belated Thanksgiving

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I’ve been wished a “happy belated Thanksgiving” several times today, and it makes no sense.

“Happy belated Thanksgiving?” What does that even mean? Can I wish someone a safe flight six hours after landing? A “Merry Christmas” after Christmas has already passed.

Hey, have a belated happy New Year!

“Um, it’s Jan. 7.”

So?

Humans are strange. Odd. Quirky. We say things because we’re supposed to say things, without really caring about the words or replies. “So, how was your Thanksgiving?” is presented with the requisite, “Oh, nice. How about yours?” reply. Same with Christmas. Birthday. Easter.

“Did you have lots of candy?”

I sure did—you?

Yawn.

I wanna lead a revolution, beginning now. Here’s my chart of the proper responses to inane wishes …

Have a belated happy Thanskgiving!

My uncle died.

How was your Christmas?

My uncle died.

Did you get lots of candy from the Easter Bunny?

My uncle died.

I’m sorry I missed your birthday party. How’d it go?

My uncle died.

Wait, your uncle died?

No. Happy belated Thanksgiving?

 

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