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Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Emmanuel Lewis.
Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Emmanuel Lewis.

My favorite story of the day, and maybe the week, involved Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum, two “Republican presidential contenders.” I placed “Republican presidential contenders” in quotations because Huckabee and Santorum have as much chance of winning the GOP nomination as I do—and I’m neither a Republican or candidate. They’re in the race because, I’m assuming, neither man has nothing else to do. They don’t hold public office, and wouldn’t stand a chance of winning their own jobs were they to run again. Huckabee had a terrible Fox News show for a spell, Santorum was/is a frequent guest on any network, anywhere that bothers to call. They’re both insane religious nut jobs (for the record, I’m not saying religious people are nut jobs. I’m saying these two donuts are).

Anyhow, both men are suddenly trending on Twitter, which:

A. Is shocking.

B. Is fantastic.

In a show of unity or, eh, something, Huckanee and Santorum will be attending Donald Trump’s non-debate event this evening. Both men have suggested it has something to do with the troops and raising money, but it’d take a blind, deaf and dead homo Sapien to not spot the sad desperation of a pair of guys who, again, have no shot. This has, literally, nothing to do with principle, and everything–absolutely everything–to do with hoping a little bit of Trump televised magic might rub off on one of their American flag pins.

Ultimately, though, it’s merely another moment in the pathetic pride suck that is American politics: 2016.