JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Gum on the exercise machine

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I was using an exercise machine at the 24 Hour Fitness tonight when I noticed a used piece of gum affixed to the monitor. And I thought, “What the hell?”

Truly, what the hell? What kind of person finishes with his gum and sticks it to a machine? It couldn’t have been an accident, or a slipping of the mind. A man or woman literally removed the gum from his/her mouth and thought, “I’m going to place it right here, and when I leave the machine it’ll remain in that spot.”

I can think of about 892 things wrong with this. Here’s my Top 2:

• 1. There’s a janitor, probably making $10 an hour, who has to scrape your gum off the monitor.

• 2. It’s disgusting and rude.

Interestingly, a few weeks ago I was standing at one of the gym’s urinals, taking a piss, when I spotted a dried bugger attached to the wall. Which is one of those things that brings forth a gagging impulse. But as nasty as boogers are, at least they get dry and crusty, then usually fall to the ground. The gum doesn’t fall. It’s there, solid.

Anyhow, I know the odds are long that gum sticker is reading this. But, if you are … ew.