JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Juvenile Revenge with *67

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So I have a pet peeve, and it involves people talking on their phones, via speaker, in public places. Especially restaurants, coffee shops, etc. It’s just ridiculously rude, agitates me to no end, speaks to the lack of courtesy that exists in modern society. Why do I (we) need to hear your full conversation?

Today, at long last, I found my little slice revenge.

I’m here in Panera. A woman sits in a nearby booth with a young man. She’s screaming into her cell phone—and it’s on speaker. Two people jabbering on about this and that and that and this. Finally, at the end, the speaker guy says, “LET ME WRITE DOWN YOUR NUMBER!”

“OK,” she says, “IT’S 252 …”

Hmm …

I love *67. It’s a powerful tool. Her number is jotted down on a pad. I dial *67, call, watch her answer. Click. Then I do it two more times. “What is going on here?” she says to her companion.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“Maybe it’s your mother.”

“I don’t know.”

Ring. Ring.

“What the?”

Ring. Ring.

“Why is …”

Then I stop.

Heh-heh.

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