JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

LePoop James and Lady PooPa

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The Game is in.

Picked the son up from school today, and together we devised a can’t-miss get-rich-quick scheme.

OK, first, you ask celebrities to poop into a company-supplied box, not the toilet.

Second, the celebrities return the poop-in-a-box, pre-paid postage, to your headquarters.

Third, our company molds the poop into the shape of the celebrity. For example, LeBron James poop looks like LeBron. Lady Gaga poop looks like Gaga.

Fourth, we seal the poop figurine in a translucent, weather-resistant casing.

Fifth, we give the celebrity poops funny name. LePoop James. Lady Poopa. Mike’s Trout Poop. SePoopa Gomez. Eli Man’sPooping. Arianna GrandPoop. The Game (of Poop).

Sixth, we attach a key chain.

Seven, it rains money.

Who’s with us?