In the likely case you missed this, earlier today the Washington Times posted an article headlined, DOCTOR DRAGGED OFF UNITED FLIGHT WAS CONVICTED OF MULTIPLE FELON DRUG CHARGES IN 2004.
The writer, Jessica Chasmar, begins the piece thusly …
I would like to write an article about Jessica Chasmar, Washington Times reporter, who is in the news for, um, bylining an awful story. According to her bio, she graduated from the University of Florida. I wonder, in her time at the college, whether she ever drank too much at a party. Or ran a red light. Or cheated on a test. Or cursed someone off. Anything? Everything? I’m gonna find out, and then I’ll include those details in the piece. I’ll make sure to add an eyeball-grabbing headline (WASHINGTON TIMES REPORTER WITH BAD ARTICLE ONCE ALLEGEDLY VOMITED), just to humiliate her as much as possible. Even if the information is more than a decade old; even if it has nothing—absolutely nothing—to do with modern circumstances.
Then, in the 10th paragraph (well beyond the point most Washington Times readers have left to polish their Trump shrines), I’ll cut and paste this …
… but insert Jessica’s name where Dao’s now sits.
I’ll use it, because I’m the Washington Times.
And that’s what the Washington Times does.
Oh, and, yes, to answer your questions …
In my life I’ve stolen two street signs, I drove through multiple red lights, I once cursed out a kid, I was accused of misquoting a high school quarterback, I’ve looked at porn, I smoked some joints and I drank a shitload of Mad Dog 20/20, then vomited in a puddle.
That’s good stuff.