JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

An Easter Miracle

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Today is Easter, and today I also experienced an Easter miracle.

A few minutes ago, the daughter and I walked to the lobby of the Comfort Inn for breakfast. I didn’t feel like changing, so I wore my sleep T-shirt and (drumroll) the above pants.

The miracle: No one laughed.

These pants are amazing. Spectacular. Dazzling. I received them as a gift, oh, three years ago from my mother in law, Laura Cole. She actually sent matching pajama sets to the four of us. I vividly recall opening the package, saying, “Ummmmm ….”

For the longest time, the pants remained in a closet. Literally, they went untouched for a year or so. Then, at a loss on a relatively cool California evening, I decided to give them a go. And … hooooooooollllyyyyyy fuck. These are the most comfortable pants of all time. Do I look ridiculous? Sure. Is the popcorn-and-movie ticket theme a bit lost on me? Yes. But, I swear to God, it’s like wearing a cloud.

Anyhow, what began as sleep pants expanded, and now they’re eh-well-I’m-not-going-anywhere-so-I’ll-just-keep-them-on pants. Which means I wear them to walk the dog, get coffee, drive the kids to school, get the mail. If you’ve seen me within two miles of my home, odds are you’ve seen me in these pants.

So happy Easter.

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