The secret life of the underwear champ

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Just returned from a dermatologist appointment. Doctor did a thorough skin check. First, lie on your back. Then, roll over.


“Is it OK if I check under your underwear?”


I reach back to pull down my underwear, and grab my own bare ass. Why? Because there’s a Grand Canyon-sized hole in my Hanes. “Oh my God!” I say aloud. “That’s too embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry,” the doctor says with a laugh. “I won’t tell your wife.”

I don’t even hesitate. “Oh, no way,” I say. “I have to tell her. She’ll love this one.”

I tell her via phone. She laughs for a solid five seconds.

That’s how you know you have a good marriage.

PS: Making matters worse, just went down to show the wife my underwear tear and noticed this in my favorite writing shorts …

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