JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Why did this guy sit right next to me?

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So I’m in the airport, sitting at a table in the Alaska Airlines terminal, two hours pre-flight. There are two empty spaces to my left. Guy approaches—”Is anyone sitting here?”

I say, “Nope. All yours.”

And he takes the seat immediately next to me.

Explain this. I dare you. It’s no different than the whole urinal thing. You’re in a movie theater, have to piss. Walk into an empty men’s room. Someone else enters. Wall of urinals, he sidles up next to you. Wrong. Violates all the norms we’re accustomed to. You pee two over, if not three. Maybe four.

OK. I’m done.