Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Assholes in Costco

I’m just back from Costco, where I acquired a chicken, drinks, a chunk of cheese, two dozen eggs — and some seriously raised blood pressure.

As I stood in line, I noticed two people sans masks.

The first guy was heavily tattooed, short, sorta squatty, with the confident bravado strut of a high school bully. He wore a baseball cap and cargo shorts, and pushed two filled carts toward the check-out register. It was obvious his mask—dangling loosely from his chin—was there solely because it’s requisite for entering the warehouse, and as he exited I heard him complain to someone about, “all the people afraid to breathe.”

The second guy was with his wife. He wore an American flag mask, only it was wrapped below his chin and around his neck. I’m no body language expert, but MC Slick was clearly trying to make a show of it all. Masks—I don’t need your stinking masks! His wife was also relatively mask-less, as were their three kids.

And here is what I would like to say:

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you for reveling in your stupidity. Fuck you for not following the (actual) news. Fuck you for not caring about science. Fuck you for not giving a shit that a mere quarter mile up the road—at our nearby hospital—100 percent of ICU beds are filled, and emergency workers are busting their asses trying to keep it all together. Fuck you for lacking any remote empathy for the shittily paid Costco worker (standing right there before you) who has to wear that mask for nine hours—five days a week. Fuck you for every restaurant we can’t visit, every coffee shop we can’t visit, every hotel we can’t stay in. For every closed business that has suffered because idiot conspiracy theorists think COVID is created by the Fake News or Joe Biden or Sixto Lezcano.

Fuck you, because it’s idiots like you who refused—and still refuse—to take this seriously. All the while we’re staying home, fighting the good fight so humanity (all of us) can move past this awfulness.

Lastly—on a personal note—fuck you for complaining about libs not loving the United States, meanwhile your snot rag mask is an American flag.

Fuck you for 2020.