Living like Oprah

So there’s a blogger out there who has committed to live the ensuing year following Oprah’s life instructions as precisely as humanly possible. Here’s the link.

I actually think this is a wonderful idea, and I encourage somebody to spend a year following my life instructions. Hell, why not start now. Here are your first tasks:

Step 1. Go to Amazon and order Hall & Oates’ entire CD catalogue.

Step 2. Play them repeatedly.

Step 3. Go to your bank and withdraw your life savings.

Step 4. Give 5% to the Hall & Oates Fanclub.

Step 5: Give the rest to me

Step 6: Stop my wife from buying this dog.

You’re hired.

PS: This is awesome. My favorite quote: “Oprah is on a mission. Repeatedly stated, her “mission” is, “I want people to see things on our show that makes them think differently about their lives…To be a light for people. To make a difference…to open their minds and see things differently…how to get in touch with the spiritual part of their life.” Unfortunately, the “light” Oprah offers is the “angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14), and “opening their minds,” in this case means their brains fall out-they become empty headed (Romans 1:21-25).”

Personally, I just want Oprah, Dr. Phil, Steve Winwood, Stephon Marbury and the kid who played The Rickster‘s best friend on Silver Spoons to board a bus and go far, far away. They bother me. But do I think Oprah is the anti-Christ? Nah. Just overblown and annoying.