First off, I have to say that, with a contest like this, there are no winners hereâ€”only losers. We all share some damn humiliating taste, and there’s something to be said for that. Do you think P. Diddy would ever admit to loving Olivia Newton-John’s “Xanadu?” Do you think Slash wants us to know that he curls up in a ball and cries every time he hears that wonderful Neil Diamong song, “Heartlight.”
We have guts. We’re musical losers, and we’re willing to stand up and post about it. I say, “Amen!”
OK, so here are the results. I’d like to thank everyone who participatedâ€”I received a jeffpearlman.com record 20 responses to this poll, which speaks for both the rapid growth (I’ve only been up two weeks) and smallness (oy) of my blog.
In third place … with his undying support of Nelson’s absolutely dreadful “After the Rain,” is Russ Bengtson of New York (Confession: Russ and I used to be roomates in Manhattan. We would watch Magic Johnson’s talk show, “The Magic Hour,” for the simple pleasure of mocking the man.
In second place … is John M., who willingly admitted to letting the wind blow through his hair while driving at full speed and bellowing Michelle Branch’s “All You Wanted.” Truth be told, Michelle Branch can rock a bit. Seriously, she has talent. But John M’s machismo is killed with the whole hair-blowing-in-the-wind-while-singing image.
The winner of the “Color Me Badd: The second jeffpearlman.com book giveaway!!!!” is … Shawn, who seems to have a genuine love and respect for, blllleeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh!!!!!!, Amy Grant.
Dude, Amy Grant?
Here’s what he wrote: “I have no idea where it started, but when I was about 12 years old I started getting into Amy Grant. I donâ€™t really know how it started, Iâ€™m pretty sure we had a copy of the Amy Grant Christmas album laying around that my family would listen to at Christmas, and I guess from there it just snowballed. Amy Grant wasnâ€™t the only music artist that I got into; being a 16 year old boy I naturally listened to Pink Floyd, Boston, Journey, and every other classic rock staple. Even as I broadened my horizons I kept Amy close at hand, and only in the company of myself, I would dig out those Amy Grant cdâ€™s I secretly purchased and happily listened to my favorite music that I hated myself for loving.”
Now, a quick story with an interesting conclusion: When I was younger I, too liked Amy Grant. But then, one day, I thought, “Boy, Amy Grant really sucks.” Story over.
Shawn, congrats. E-mail your address, and I’ll hook you up.
*** If you didn’t get the picture, I urge everyone here to click on one of the Amy Grant links and partake inâ€”hands downâ€”the worst song and worst video in human history. Wait … my … brain … be … melting …