Why Facebook depresses the hell out of me

I like Facebook. Hell, I’m sort of addicted to Facebook.

And yet, I hate Facebook. Truly hate it.

I graduated from Mahopac High School in 1990. I was sort of a dork—not the biggest geek in the grade, but certainly the bottom quarter. I was the sports editor of the student newspaper, ran track and cross country, had legs the width of pretzels and never kissed a girl. In short—dork.

Once I took that final step outside of the school’s doors in the summer of 1990, my memories were sealed. The cool kids would always be the cool kids. The smokers would always be the smokers. The jocks would be the jocks, the geeks would be the geeks, the girls I had crushes on would always be hot and the kids who picked on me would always be enemies.

But now, alas, Facebook.

The cool kids are fat and bald. The dorks look pretty good. There was a smokin’ hot girl (’90s term) who looks 50, and a girl I’d never noticed who is absolutely beautiful. We all comment on one another’s families (“Wow! What beautiful kids!”) because, well, what else is there to say? We haven’t been in each other’s lives in 18 years. The void is enormous—way too big to fill with Facebook chatter.

Worst of all, I hate how Facebook makes me seem old. I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and feel great. I’m not the geek I was 18 years ago—I’m confident, I like my shaved head, I like my goatee … I feel good. But then I see everyone else … see how different many look, and wonder, “Man, are they thinking the same thing about me? Do I look 50, too?”

Damn Facebook. Damn you.

6 thoughts on “Why Facebook depresses the hell out of me”

  1. Wasn’t I saying the same exact thing a few months ago. Look how far you come and how awesome you are and your kids are adorable.

  2. Facebook is depressing me too. I left that life behind. That was then, this is now. The now is what matters. Not the then. Or does it. I feel like someone is stabbing me with a memory knife everytime someone posts a picture. I had a great time in HS…well I always thought I had until now. And yet, Im addicting. What the hell. I need a life!

  3. I root for the “obnoxious football jocks” to be fat/bald (or worse), the snobby cheerleaders look weathered and the rest of us who survived being in the middle to excel like hell!

    But no, I’m skipping my 20th reunion because I don’t care THAT much what happened to those clowns since then!

  4. I have a love/hate thing going with Facebook. All of your points are valid, but back then… I was a dork who had a boatload of friends that thought I was cool. It’s nice having so many “friends.”

    Meanwhile, in my real life, I can’t name 5 people that I have talked to in the past week that I know personally. That’s the part that makes me sad.

  5. Oh and by the way… I do thank Facebook because now I don’t feel the need to go to my reunion. I might, but now I know what happened to everyone. I already know how that movie ended.

  6. Yeah. Exactly. I look at that people I knew in high school and I think “who are all those old people?” It’s a strange thing to see all your friends aged after so many years. And it’s not the same as going to a reunion. On Facebook we’re more engaged in each other’s lives in a way, seeing their photographs and lives on a day to day basis. Damn you Facebook! 😉

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