Cookin’ with Coolio

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Was listening to WFAN in New York this morning. They had a special guest—Coolio. He is promoting his new cookbook, Cookin’ with Coolio.

To begin with, I love faded celebrities. Looooooooooooove them. I love Vanilla Ice. I love Steve Guttenberg. I love the guy who played Tubbs on Miami Vice, even when I saw him doing a commercial for exercise equipment or hair dye or whatever the hell it was. Faded celebrities should fall in two categories (A. Faded celebs who accept their lowered status and drift off into real-world life; B. Faded celebs desperate to maintain their glow), but they really seem to only fall into one—Type B.

Why? Because fame is addictive. It’s not merely the money or the cars or the free meals. It’s the ungodly ego boost; walking through an airport and hearing, “Wow! Dad! That’s Stuart Scott!” How does one recover from that, when he/she is just another Jeff Pearlman-esque schlub, slugging through a shopping mall in his Old Navy jeans and Milwaukee Brewers T-shirt, stealthy rearranging the front display case in the Borders so “The Bad Guys Won!” is in prime space, hoping, praying that tomorrow’s paycheck well clear, bagging groceries in his free time so … oops. This got away from me.

I’m not really sure of the point here, other than, after listening to Coolio describe his culinary stylings, I’m quite certain I’m the better cook. He endorses, among other things, the usage of canned vegetables in Italian food and merging Mexican and Italian cuisines into something called Italixcan. Yeah, I only make toasted bagels, Crock Pot Chicken (with a cherry glaze) and apple crisp.

But I never use canned vegetables.

2 thoughts on “Cookin’ with Coolio”

  1. Stuart Scott is an ass-kissing, name-dropping, unfunny jackass. Why is he still on TV?!?!? Seriously, what is with ESPN? Why do they always hire buffoons (see: Chris Berman)?

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