One of my least-favorite sports words is “Guys.”
I know … I knowâ€”technically, “Guys” isn’t a sports word. Certainly not in origin. But it has become one. Especially on sports radio, where callers make themselves feel all warm and snug by beginning 50 percent of all calls by saying, “Hey guys, love the show …” This time of year, that morphs into, “Merry Christmas guys. I love the show …”
Why do guys use guys? Because it feels chummy, happy, a part of something. If you call WFAN and refer to Joe and Evan as “guys,” it’s like you’re one of them. Buds, drinking a beer. Chillin’ Yet it’s all an illusion. You’re just a guy on a telephone, hoping for 20 seconds to make your point about Chris Duhon. You’re not one of the guys, and never will be one of the guys. That said, who really wants to be one of the guys? I’ve been to WFAN’s Queens-based studio, and it’s a grim, charmless place. These “guys” sit there all day, eating M&Ms, drinking Coke, gaining calories by the minute and spewing about guys with guys to guys.
Hence, I don’t want to be a “Guy.” I don’t wanna be a “Gal,” either.
I’ll just be me.
Here’s the ironic twist, by the way. While “Guys” doesn’t have a sports tie, its original meaning seems pretty damn appropriate. According to the online etymology dictionary, “Guys” was first used in 1836 as a synonym for a “grotesquely or poorly dressed person.”
Damn. I am a guy.