JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Global Melting

A quick point I’d like to make, and I’d love to hear the takes of others:

The truth is, neither people like myself nor arch-conservatives know with 100-percent certainty that global warming is happening or not happening. I think it is … you think it isn’t—we’re not scientists, so we don’t know. Not with irrefutable evidence on our sides (Meaning I can’t, literally, show you my own self-developed diagram on what’s happening).

As the father of two young children, however, I am unwilling to take a chance on this one. Let’s say, even hypothetically, that global warming is happening and that, if we do nothing, the earth is cooked. We’ll just make it a sheer hypothetic. A 2 percent chance of being right, and no more. Even with that being the case, we’d be friggin’ inane to do nothing, or to blow it off—because if those who believe in warming are right, the future of this planet is in serious, serious trouble.

So, yeah, I’ll allow for the point to be made that, on the short term, planning for global warming might hurt the economy. Cut back emissions. Have more thorough regulations. Etc. But how is it not worth it, if we’re talking about massive global change as a possible—just possible—consequence?

I’m willing to take a chance on a movie. Or a restaurant.

On this, no. No way.

* PS: And, for the record, I truly hope the Republicans are right here. I truly, truly do.

* PPS: All that said, if I hear one more person call it a “hoax,” I’ll vomit. People can be incorrect without pulling a hoax.