JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Ever wonder what it’s like to work in a sweat shop?

So in a couple of weeks I’m surprising my daughter with a trip to Hershey Park.

I’m gonna pick her up from school, bags packed, and tell her once she gets into the car. She’ll be elated.

Was researching the town of Hershey, and came upon the website for Hershey’s Chocolate World (warning, it’s really annoying). There are a bunch of things to do—all sorta lame, all extremely overpriced. My favorite, hands down, is this one:

HERSHEY’S KISSES Packaging
Ever wonder what it was like to work in a chocolate factory? Now’s your chance to become a factory worker for the day and package your own HERSHEY’S KISSES Chocolates at the HERSHEY’S KISSES Packaging attraction! The experience is FREE. Packages available for purchase that include HERSHEY’S KISSES Chocolates and an Official Factory Worker I.D.

  • $7.95 – Official Factory Worker Photo I.D.
  • $9.95 – Container of HERSHEY’S KISSES Chocolates with Photo
  • $17.95 – Factory Worker Package

Tell me if I’m wrong here, but … WTF? Ever wonder what it’s like to be a pimp? Well, now you can. We’ll give you your own name, your own cracked-out hooker, Gigi, and a fedora. Then we’ll take you to King’s Point in a Cadillac and—well, enjoy!