Bread, chips or apple?

Just ate dinner at Panera. Ordered the Greek salad, which comes with your choice of bread, chips or apple. I chose bread—took me approximately two minutes to place, complete and pay for the order.

Other folks … not so much. I’m amazing how much friggin’ thought people put into the most basic question in human history—”Would you like bread, chips or apple as a side?” Literally, I watched someone debate for three full minutes which to go with. Meanwhile, the hands of time pass; the earth rotates; the sun loses heat; climate change continues … one and on.

Bread, chips or apple? Fuckin’ a—who gives a shit?

On a side note, I’m now addicted to my upcoming book—and probably not in a healthy way. I know every word, every paragraph, every chapter. The order. The nooks. The highs. The lows. I’ve probably read through the thing, oh, 90-100 times … and it’s nearly 500 pages. This is what obsession is, and it comes with every book. But this, for me, is a new level. I want this thing to be perfect—an impossible standard.

Sigh.

10 thoughts on “Bread, chips or apple?”

  1. Jeff – cannot wait for the book. I will go out on a limb and say be very proud of this one! Looking forward to it man!

  2. Looking forward to the book for sure.

    Also, I feel you on the food decisions. In 20 years, will someone say, “Damn, I should have gotten that apple.” There’s no wrong answer, people!

  3. What gets me most about those difficult food decisions is that more times than not the person has not only been there before and been given this decision to ponder before, but they’ve also been in line, heard the question posed before to others, and had time to think about it. It is like they have complete amnesia by the time they get up to order. Or they don’t decide what they want until they are to the head of the line when they’ve had minutes to decide while waiting in line. Annoying…

  4. Easily my biggest pet peeve (right ahead of the use of the aforementioned phrase — yeah, it’s weird).

    People who take too long ordering food at a counter, or who take forever in the self-checkout lanes at the supermarket, or who fall prey to the smalltalk and upselling from bank-tellers. Makes me want to scream, especially when I’m the 20th person in line.

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