JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

I’m old

Screen Shot 2014-05-19 at 12.28.35 PMI’m in Starbucks. Put my bag down on a table, waited on line, got my drink, returned to the table. There was a teenaged girl on one of the seats. I looked at her and said, “I’m gonna have to charge you $5 to sit there.”

She looked at me and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“No,” I said. “I’m just kidding.”

She didn’t laugh. Just turned away.

I am an old man.