Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Adam Kwasman for President

The. Man. Period.
The. Man. Period.

It’s sort of early for the 2016 presidential election, but I’ve already got my candidate. His name is Adam Kwasman, and he’s the motherfuckin’ bomby bomb.

Yes, the bomby bomb. He’s that excellent.

In case you haven’t heard of Adam Kwasman, well, you will. Over and over again. On Tuesday in Oracle, Arizona, the 1st district congressional candidate was leading a protest against the housing of migrant children when—midway through a speech—he spotted a yellow school bus. Kwasman, as great leaders do, rushed to the scene, took a bunch of photos and Tweeted out the following …

Screen Shot 2014-07-17 at 1.22.43 PMHe told a local reporter, “I was able to actually see some of the children in the buses and the fear on their faces. This is not compassion.” Which, again, is so, so, so, so, so fucking awesome—because the children on the bus were attending a YMCA camp, and were American.

Bomby. Bomb.

Like all great modern leaders, Kwasman never truly took any sort of responsibility for the magnificent fuck-up. He stammered and uhmed and hmmed his way through an awkward interview, then deleted the original Tweet.

He’s got my vote.