Crazy like an elephant

So there’s this thing with the media, where reporters and editors and, oftentimes, commentators feel like everything has to be balanced 50/50. Meaning, if you look for the negative of one side, you have to find equal negative on the other side. The same goes for positive. Example: You’re doing a piece on corporate donations to candidates. If you find a bunch of CEOs giving money to Democrats, you also have to find a similar number of CEOs donating to the other side.

It’s better in idea than practice, but I get it.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this concept, coupled with the insanity of myriad political figures. Actually, lemme re-phrase that: There are a seemingly endless number of off-the-reservation insane Republicans, and not nearly as many equally loopy Democrats. It’s just true, and I don’t believe I’m biased in saying so.

Take, for example, the above clip, featuring Allen West, the former Florida representative and Tea Party favorite. In his speech to a bunch of Tennessee-based conservatives, West suggests (actually, he sort of insists) that football head injuries exist in large numbers because fewer teams pray before games than they once did. And here’s the thing: The attendees seem to agree. Or at least not disagree. They nod and quietly approve. Which, again, is off-the-reservation insane.

But it gets better. In Texas, Sid Miller, the state agriculture director, is pushing to end a ban on deep fat fryers in public schools. Miller said his idea, ““isn’t about french fries, it’s about freedom.” Which, in Yiddish, translates to, “This dude is really coconuts in the head.” Miller’s also cool with soda machines in public schools because, you know, we’re not a fat enough country as is, and students deserve the freedom to pick a Coca-Cola over milk.


I’m not saying Democrats don’t have their issues. But their issues, generally, are more bad ideas and corruption than pure, unadulterated insanity.

Leave a Reply