JEFF PEARLMAN

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Libtard

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Over the past two days, ever since I wrote a couple of posts about Lynne Russell and guns, I’ve been called a “libtard” about 100 times.

Hence, I’d like to offer this sincere advice to those who call people “libtards”: Don’t call people “libtards.”

Asshole—fine. Dipshit—OK. Nimrod—dated, but fine. Cuntboy, penis head, bastard, sob, son of a bitch, son of a beee-yatch, whore sniffer, anal cavity—all decent and approved. But “libtard”? No.

No, no, no.

A “libtard,” if you haven’t gathered this, combines “liberal” and “retard” into one neat package. Thereby suggesting that the person who uses “libtard” as an adjective also feels comfortable saying “retard” as an adjective. For those of you who use “libtard” or “retard,” an adjective is a word or phrase naming an attribute, added to or grammatically related to a noun to modify or describe it. For those of you who use “libtard” or “retard” and don’t fully understand what this (a word or phrase naming an attribute, added to or grammatically related to a noun to modify or describe it) means, an adjective is a descriptive word.

I digress. “Libtard” is an ugly word that just doesn’t help your cause. Sure, it’ll rally 20 of your dumbest Confederate flag-waving friends. But otherwise, it just makes you sound like a really dumb, really obnoxious, gun-waving, Obama-bashing, Palin-coveting tool.

In other words, keep it up.

PS: Yes, we’re trying to turn your kids gay and black.