Lamar Odom is apparently dying.
But let me write that as the editors at People, Us Weekly, Entertainment Tonight, CNN, Fox News would prefer …
LAMAR ODOM IS APPARENTLY DYING!!
I already received a call from a pretty big website, asking if I’d contribute a piece on Odom. It would have paid well, and I turned it down. Two reasons: A. I have nothing of value to contribute. B. Fuck off.
By Fuck off, I mean, well, fuck off to the websites and the gossip rags and every single person Tweeting excitedly about Khloe Kardashian and brothels. A special fuck off to Us Weekly, which has this running on its homepage right now …
A special fuck off to Extra TV for Tweeting this—exclamation point added because it’s all so exciting!
A super-special fuck off to TMZ, because, well, TMZ is evil, and every celebrity tragedy is simply another 100,000 clicks.
I’ll surely get ripped for being some holier-than-thou writer, but, eh, I’m comfortable with that. So here’s the thing: Lamar Odom will soon cease to exist. His heart will stop, his brain will no longer function, his body will turn cold and his time as an entity will be over. If you believe in heaven, you can hope he now goes to a cloud. But I don’t. I think he’s over, never to be again. No more time with his children, his parents, his friends. No more hugs, kisses, laughs, layups, ice cream, steak, swimming, dancing. Nothing. He will be dead—forever.
This is not trivial, or funny, or an excuse for headlines and clicks. It’s terribly sad, and shame on us for exploiting a man’s looming death for our own entertainment between morning and night.
We are a sad people.
