The best thing in my home office

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My home office is filled with lots and lots and lots of stuff.

There’s the standard book shelf, overloaded with titles I’ve never read. There’s a photo of my grandfather, another one of the kids, the wife, Brett Favre, Candy Maldonado, the late boxer Billy Collins.

There are these candles …

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And my freshman year election speech (I lost badly) …

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And this photo of a woman I never met …

Screen Shot 2016-02-25 at 9.54.26 AMOn and on and on and on.

Truly, though, the best thing in my office is a mousepad. A. Because why do mousepads exist in 2016? B. They still do exist in 2016. C. This one features two of our friends, Diane and Larry, accompanied by the words HOMIES FOREVER. Which isn’t actually true. Homies aren’t forever. I’ve had many homies who were homies, but no longer walk the earth as my homies. Meaning, they’re either dead or, simply, no long my homies. Which hurts, because the mousepad promises homies are forever, only they are not. It’s a lie.

Larry and Diane, last I checked, are still married and, therefore, still homies.

Hence, I love the mousepad.

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