I can’t help myself

Screen Shot 2016-07-08 at 3.01.13 PMBy Donald Trump

I know I shouldn’t Tweet today. I mean, the whole Dallas thing. That was pretty bad. And even though I predicted it would happen, well, I can’t say anything. So I’ll just offer my thoughts and prayers, because that’s what my advisers recommend. Yeah, they’re right. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. I’ll just offer thoughts and prayers.

But, damn, my little iPhone keypad is yummy. I just wanna Tweet something more. But, no, I shouldn’t. This is a tragic day, and my advisers say thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and …

Man, I love Twitter. And the world needs to hear from me. I’m Donald Trump, and my words matter. Especially on Twitter, because everyone loves my Tweets. God, just one Tweet about something. But … no. No. No. Stay on message. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and pra …

God, Hillary Clinton is such a whore. I really hate her. And she keeps lying about everything I lie about. Maybe one Tweet, right? Just one. A quickie. My supporters will love it. Right? I’m gonna do it. No. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. I’ll just offer thoughts and prayers. Yes—Hillary is a whore. No—Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. I’ll just offer thoughts and prayers. Yes—Hillary is a Jew-loving zombie. No. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. I’ll just offer thoughts and prayers. Yes—Hillary eats babies. No. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. I’ll just offer thoughts and prayers. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Need to Tweet.

NEED to TWEET!

NEEEEEED TOOOOOO TWWWWEEEEEET …

Screen Shot 2016-07-08 at 2.54.55 PMI’m genius.

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