I hate Bill Clinton.
I know … I know—liberals don’t hate Bill Clinton. He was our 42nd president! He served two terms! He’s very smart and oversaw some of our nation’s greatest economic days! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!
I hate him.
I’ve hated Bill Clinton since the whole Monica Lewinski thing. You wanna cheat on your wife? Not my business. You wanna cheat on your wife with a 24-year-old intern inside the Oval Office—then lie about it under oath? Crosses a huge line.
But I don’t hate Bill Clinton for the act. I hate Bill Clinton for the consequences. Back in 2000, Al Gore was the easiest presidential choice in modern history. He was the vice president during eight years of United States prosperity. He was wickedly intelligent, progressive, knowledgeable on the widest range of issues. But during the election versus George W. Bush, he decided to keep his distance from Bill Clinton—because Bill Clinton had fucked around with a 24-year-old intern in the Oval Office. And normal people keep their distance from presidents who fuck around with 24-year-old interns in the Oval Office. And, of course, Gore lost (well, sorta). And Clinton had the audacity to criticize him for not running a wise campaign.
I hate him.
I hate Bill Clinton for last night. I mean, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate Donald Trump. In a way people hate bloody warts and diarrhea stew. I hate everything about Trump, and I would pay large sums of money and cattle for him to vanish and never return. But that pre-debate press conference … those women—that’s all Bill Clinton. That’s a man who couldn’t control himself and couldn’t control his penis, behaving like a 15-year-old boy with a Playboy spread permanently affixed to his visionary scan. Just as he put Al Gore in the unenviable position of having to answer for his transgressions, he’s put his wife in the unenviable position of having to answer for his transgressions.
It’s not fair, it’s not right.
I hate him.
