Donald Trump won’t be throwing out the first pitch

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Donald Trump is a maverick!

Donald Trump plays by his own rules!

Donald Trump doesn’t answer to anybody!

Donald Trump …

(A) Can’t throw a baseball four feet.

(B) Is afraid of boos

Those are the two reasons I can ponder for his refusal to throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals’ home opener. First pitches, as readers here surely know, are the popular and longtime turf of presidents. You wear a team jacket, you trot out to the mound, you throw. Sometimes you reach the plate. Sometimes you don’t even come close. Sometimes people cheer. Sometimes people boo.

Nonetheless, you throw.

It’s what presidents do.

Or, eh, did.

My guess—based on everything we know about this coward conman—is B. Donald Trump and his merry legion of puppet masters don’t like the potential visual of 50,000 people booing in the nation’s capital. So Donald Trump will skip out and retreat to the White House Florida, where he can sit in front of the television and watch Fox News in peace.