JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

I hate this photo

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I hate this photo. But not in the way one ordinarily hates photos.

No, I hate this photo because it mocks America. It taunts America. It screams at America, “You used to be cool and relevant. And now you’re a joke. See what you had? See!?!?!?!?!?!”

Look at Barack Obama.

Look at Justin Trudeau.

Two serious men with impressive intellects and a belief in, oh, science and technology and reason and civil rights and respect for women, for minorities, for gays.

Now look at this oaf …

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He wears a $5 hat. His ties are always too long, with tape on the back. His skin is tanned orange, his hair is yellow crackling straw. He barks and snarls and threatens and spends his nights Tweeting and watching Fox News. He offends without trying to offend; he mocks those he has no business mocking.

Embarrassing new reports come out every day—demanding loyalty from the FBI head, bilking money from charitable endeavors, Russian connections. He’s as forward-thinking as a skinhead; as wise as a (dead) owl. He oozes 1985 in all possible ways, and desperately wants our nation to return to a simpler time, when white men ruled and women served.

I want my future back.

I want to eat with Barack and Justin.