I’ve now seen everything

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So as I write this I’m sitting in a tiny Nashville coffee shop called Headquarters.

It’s cozy and quaint and the music is pretty solid. The coffee tastes like coffee, the pastries appear to be pastries. There are outlets aplenty. I have no complaints.

Well, scratch that. I have one complaint.

Ordered my drink. Went to the bathroom. Greeted by this …

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I’ve probably written in 500 diners and cafes through the years. I’ve seen gnats, roaches, piss stains, poop stains, snarky waitresses, disturbing chefs, rude customers. Never before, though, have I been to a place that pitches beverages that make people shit while simultaneously disallowing shits to be taken.

I’ll enjoy my 50 minutes here.