JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

I am legend

Screen Shot 2019-06-20 at 2.16.19 PM

Sitting in Starbucks. Table by the door. Little mouse runs in. He’s the size of a mint. Probably a baby. He darts for my backpack, so I lift it up, scoot back. Then he dashes down the window line, and the woman to my left literally stands on her chair in terror.

Stands.

On.

Her.

Chair.

I have an empty cup. The barista traps the little guy against the window with her foot. No pain inflicted, just so he can’t scatter away. I scoop the mouse up, place the cover atop and walk him outside, where I plan on releasing him beneath some hedges. Only the dude doesn’t wanna leave—he’s happily slurping up the remaining mocha from a long-departed beverage.

When I return to the store, I sit down to a hero’s welcome.

They comp my next order.

Ol' chocolate tail ...
Ol’ chocolate tail …