JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Poor John

John-Edwards-President

Not all that long ago, I wanted John Edwards to be our president.

I loved his compassion.

I loved his philosophies.

I loved his idealism.

Of course, as we now know, it was all bulls***. He was the ultimate modern politician—a snake oil salesman spewing bliss from one side of his mouth while living according to an entirely different set of ideals.

Earlier today, Edwards finally admitted that he is the father of a 2-year-old girl; the product of an affair he had on his cancer-stricken wife. He issued the following statement:

“I have been providing financial support for Quinn and have reached an agreement with her mother to continue providing support in the future,” Edwards said in a statement to The Associated Press. “To all those I have disappointed and hurt, these words will never be enough, but I am truly sorry.”

It’s amazing. In 2008, I wanted Edwards to be my president. In 2010, I wouldn’t trust him with a job at McDonald’s. A scumbag, plain and simple, who deserves his current—and permanent—fate of political nothingness.

A sad demise.