Climate change is destroying our resources.
The economy is in shambles.
Our elected officials can’t get anything right.
The Pittsburgh Pirates are about to slip to .500.
Kings of Leon are breaking up.
TSA workers aren’t getting paid.
But—wait! There’s more important news! Much more important news! Important, important, important news that led AOL’s site yesterday evening.
Dear God, help us!
Miley Cyrus … smokes cigarettes!
We will all perish.
Where are the Jonas Brothers when we need them?