So earlier today I took my kids to the Gazillion Bubble Show, a shockingly enjoyable New York City-based bonanza of bubble, bubbles and more bubbles.
Even though Gazillion features a Playbill and is held in the same theater facility as Avenue Q, it’s not any sort of traditional production. Everyone in the audience was either a kid or accompanied by a kid. Fuck, it’s all about the bubbles. Kids love bubbles.
I digress. We had pretty good seats, three back from the front row. Behind us were two little kids, a mother and a grandmother wearing a ridiculously ugly and inappropriate dress. Throughout the program, Grandma spoke to her grandkids in loud, annoying tones. I can’t fully explain it, but it was a 60-year-old woman basically using baby talk to communicate. She’d turn to her grandson and say something like, “Ty-ler, th-ose are bu-bb-les.” God, it was sooooo grating, and on multiple occasions Casey turned to me with a familiar, “Can you please do something about this awfulness?” glare.
Sadly, there was little to be done. It was a kiddie show, with a kiddie audience, and no, “Please don’t speak during the performance” announcement. Grandma was permitted to speak—even though it ruined everything.
The point? Not sure there is one. But I really do hate hearing adults converse in baby tones, just because they’re speaking with children. It’s the worst.
