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I’m sitting in a room inside the New York New York hotel-casino in Las Vegas. My kids are asleep, my wife is downstairs either gambling or running off with Sven.

Either way, I fucking hate this place.

I actually think something’s wrong with me, because Vegas meets all the criterion of stuff I like. Funky people watching—check. Bright lights—check. Unique food choices—check. I dig large and loud and fun. Carnivals are my joy. Las Vegas is one big carnival.

And yet …

I hate the phoniness of Las Vegas. Everything feels … contrived, as if we’re on the set of the Truman Show. There’s zero authenticity, and why, oh why, can I never find my way out of a casino? And why does everything smell like cigarette? And why did our dinner bill come out to $120? And why am I seeing the Blue Man Group tomorrow? And why was there a stray hair on my daughter’s pillow?


4 thoughts on “Vegas”

  1. You should check out downtown, that’s a good experience and will cover all of the things you like — Fremont Street Experience. Walk the strip and check out all the crazies dressed up looking for money … It’s not ’70s Vegas but it can be a great deal of fun.

  2. No offense to the guy who suggested it, but downtown Las Vegas is even seedier, more run-down, and depressing than the main drag.

    Las Vegas isn’t a good place if you don’t gamble and/or have kids.

  3. Honestly LV smells like an un-emptied ashtray 24/7. The neon lights are spectacular as you drive through on I-15. Just remember to fill the tank in St. George. Your then good to go all the way to the in-n-out in Barstow.

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