JEFF PEARLMAN

Asthmatic Cat

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My friend Bev has a roommate. Her roommate has an asthmatic cat.

I’m not sure why, but ever since learning of this, I’ve desperately wanted to start a band and name it Asthmatic Cat.

I have no musical skill. Neither does my 8-year-old son, Emmett. But we love the name Asthmatic Cat, and my daughter plays piano and flute, and my wife plays a little piano, and I’m a pretty amazing rapper, and my son can clap, so … we’re starting a band.

Asthmatic Cat.

I’m thinking slasher-metal-rap. Like, Rage Against the Machine meets NWA meets Pantera. Something like that. We don’t have to be good. We just need T-shirts and some groupies and a garage to jam like we’ve never jammed before.

Because the name kicks ass.

We are Asthmatic Cat.

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