I was on the cover of a magazine—just like Donald Trump

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So I don’t like to brag, but check out the Sports Magazine cover pictured above!

Yes, that’s me! The year was 1985, and I was a 13-year-old slugger for the New York Yankees! Amazing, right! Spectacular, right! Sport Magazine! Jeff Pearlman! Cover! Hell, it’s right there in front of you!

Jeff Pearlman!



Now imagine, for a second, were I actually trying to sell you on this. Imagine if I included the Sport Magazine cover in my portfolio; if I actually tried to impress people by showing it off as one of my accomplishments. Hell, what if we had this dialogue as you entered my home …

You: “Is that you on the cover of Sport Magazine?”

Me: “It sure is!”

What would you think of me? What would you tell your friends? I’m being serious—what the heck would you think if I were trying to pass off a fake magazine cover as real? How would you judge me?

I ask, of course, because today the Washington Post ran a terrific article about Donald Trump hanging fake Time Magazine covers in his golf clubhouses. You can read the piece here, and here’s an image of the framed cover …

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A few thoughts on this one:

A. The lemmings will inevitably make their excuses.

B. The cover doesn’t even look professional. I mean, TIME crosses his forehead and hair; the ellipsis between “Fronts” and “even” is off; the designer (probably a 17-year-old kid on the Ocean City boardwalk) didn’t even bother to use smart quotes.

C. It’s sooooooo cheesy.

And, truly, that’s the thing. This is the work of a cheeseball conman. A quality conman would make sure the cover at least looks passable to those in the know. But this one only looks passable to idiots and worshipers. It’s Grade-C- material, much like his buildings and casinos.

But such is our president.


Such is our president.

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