In case you missed this—and you almost certainly did miss this—earlier tonight some kid named Lane Hardy won the 17th season of “American Idol.”
Which leads to the important question: What in God’s name is the guy to Lane’s right wearing in the above photograph? Is it a mumu? Is it some sort of homage to Darth Vader? Did he simply put his shirt on backward and forget to check? Is it “Dress like a black lamp” day? Is tomorrow “Dress like a black lamp day”—and a trick was pulled on the poor guy.
For the record, gis name is Wade Cota, and he was one of the 800 runner-ups on the series. He also partook in what, for my money, is the worst musical moment in the history of musical moments—this mash-up with Weezer that leads to the question, “Who wants to see any sort of mash-up with Weezer?”
I digress.
Once, fairly long ago, “American Idol” was the biggest show in the world—with no close second. Then it vanished. Then it came back, on ABC instead of Fox. And it was condensed, and the judges were all forced to be nice and encouraging, and … and … it turned rather meaningless. No enormous record deal awaits the winner. No summer tour awaits the winner. Truth be told, Lane Hardy will likely have a few weeks of fun, then vanish into the abyss that is the 2019 musical scene.
Meanwhile, the memory of the Vader mumu is eternal …
