JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Marsha Blackburn’s powerful prayers

Marsha the cowboy

In case you missed this—and you certainly could have missed this, because it happens every day—there was another shooting in America. It took place at a school in Tennessee. A student with a gun was killed, a police officer was badly wounded.

The hero, however, was Senator Marsha Blackburn, who took time out of her busy day to Tweet the following …

I am proud of Marsha. Very proud. No, we don’t agree on much. But at 2:32—the very moment she sent that Tweet—I actually felt Marsha’s prayers dart past me en route to Knoxville. I was sitting at my kitchen table, noshing on some apple slices, when—whoooosh!

I turned to my daughter and said, “What the heck was that?”

Casey gave me a incredulous stare. “Seriously? Do you really not know?”

“Know what?” I replied.

“Dad,” she said, “those were Marsha Blackburn’s prayers.”

Damn. They were moving so fast—almost like lightning bolting from a cloud, or a series of bullets soaring out the barrel of an Armalite M15 22LR Carbine. I have no idea how they wound up in California, so I can only assume Marsha Blackburn’s prayers are so strong and potent that they went here, there, there, here, here, here, there … everywhere!

Anyhow, I told Casey that Marsha Blackburn was the day’s hero; that her little head thoughts can move mountains and lift seas and make grown elves cry purple tears. But then, the kid had a final question.

“Dad,” she said, “if the shooting already happened, and someone is already dead, what’s the point in praying?”

I had no answer.

I’ll leave that one to Marsha.