JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Mandated poison

Tatiana Tanya is on the right. Literally, figuratively. And ignorant AF.

An update on Tatiana Tanya.

Today she appeared on the Texas Latino Conservative channel. She mentioned COVID, and called the vaccine a “mandated poison.”

A mandated poison.

As the delta variant ravages America.

She then called the Black Panthers “evil.” Because, of course, they’re evil. Tanya knows. Because, um … yeah.

“When we talk about slavery,” she said. “Do you explain how we [whites] fought with every ounce in us to end slavery? For goodness sake, they want history! They’re taking down statues!”

Then, mercifully, my screen froze.

Mercifully.

And it hit me—hard. This woman is a moron. Not half a moron. Not 3/4 moron. Full moron. She’s not smart, she’s not educated, she’s not informed. When one of the hosts (the man) started discussing U.S. history, Tatiana Tanya sat quietly and pretended to know what he was referring to. But she clearly did not. Because, again, she’s a fucking moron.

The thing is, I have yet to hear anyone say, “Sooooo … what are your qualifications?” No one. Not a single person. It’s like following a general into battle, only to learn six hours earlier he was a copy machine salesman. But people gobble it up. Because she’s loud. And angry. And makes faces that merge a know-it-all smirk with the relief of having just pooped.

Lord, it’s quite the headache.

One more thing: I’ve long badgered my wife over her love of trashy reality TV. But now, for the first time, I get it. Tatiana Tanya is trashy reality TV personified. It’s like watching a shaved giraffe try and learn Spanish. Or two blind dolphins wrestling over a pretzel. It’s Carl Lewis and a leopard racing the 100 in slippers and blindfolds.

Oy.