So last night the dog ran outside, which she wasn’t supposed to do. I chased her, and she moved. I chased her again, she moved some more. Finally, she stopped, and I bent down to grab her when—POP! No, not POP! WHHHHAAAAAAAM! My forehead slammed into the top of a
My Fellow Americans: It has been brought to my attention that my name has been mentioned quite a bit this past week. Some of my colleagues have even suggested that President Trump was willing to have me killed because I failed to follow his commands and hand our administration another
Back when i was a middle schooler in the mean streets of Mahopac, N.Y., parachute pants were the thing. You might remember. You might not. Plasticy. Lots of zippers. Myriad colors. All around the hallways of Mahopac Junior High, kids sports parachute pants. They weren’t merely a craze. They were
We have two supermarkets within a 10-minute drive from our house—Ralph’s and Alberstons. I prefer Ralph’s. The wife prefers Albertsons. I’d argue there’s no clear-cut dominant grocery shopping experience. The selection at Albertsons is a bit better. The employees at Ralph’s are a bit more familiar (meaning, people who work
So the other day I received an e-mail from Gary, who clearly did not enjoy “Three-Ring Circus” … His review/smackdown did not bother me. Once upon a time it would have. But as I sit here, at age 48, I’m very comfortable with criticism, and people expressing criticism. Why? Because
The Super Bowl was over, and I was scrolling through Twitter this and Twitter that—when everything stopped. Pedro Gomez, ESPN’s excellent reporter, had died at age 58. I am devastated. In this itinerant business of reporting, where you’re in Cleveland one day, Detroit the next, San Diego the one after
So earlier this evening, while watching the NFL’s myriad video clips of former players learning about their Hall of Fame selections, I was struck by a tiny moment involving Cowboy legend Drew Pearson. Pearson was understandably emotional, and he thanked two people in the room—Roger Staubach, his friend and former quarterback,
Tom Brady is about to start a Super Bowl at age 43. Which is unparalleled and amazing and worthy of great praise. It is also, in my opinion, only the second most-breathtaking athletic feat accomplished by a 43-year old. A distant second. Back in the lord’s year of 1991, Carlton
So earlier today Fox News’ website posted a story with the headline, BIDEN FLYING TO DELAWARE DESPITE CDC WARNINGS TO AVOID TRAVEL. And to the bylined author, Brooke Singman, I deliver this message of love and peace: It’s not worth the paycheck. It’s just not. Brooke, you have a terrific
So Matt Gaetz, Florida congressman and lover of ferns, was asked whether he would step down if called upon to represent Donald Trump during his impeachment trial. The second impeachment trial, lest you be confused. Here was the printed portion of Gaetz’s reply, per the Washington Post: “If the president